That Time I Turned Down Sex with Bradley Cooper

Last night I turned down sex with Bradley Cooper.

I keep repeating this, yet it still doesn’t seem real.

Technically it’s not real. It was a dream. What might’ve been a mind-blowing sex dream, but ended up… nothing.

Because leave up to me.

“Oh no, Bradley. We can do it tomorrow,” I promise. While he’s trying to seduce me. This gorgeous, naked man.

Melissa, you stupid, stupid b*tch. What the hell is wrong with you? If you ever try that crap with Michael Fassbender, we’re over. You hear me? OVER!

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