Dear Gareth…



Oh, Gareth. Why? Why did you have to go and chow down on Bob’s leg? There’s no turning back now. I can’t unsee the cold hard truth – you, my friend, are one sick motherf*cker. I suppose I was in denial, blinded by your boyish good looks… but that ended tonight. How can I kiss you now, without thinking about little bits of Bob stuck in your teeth? For it’s been a couple of years since the zombies took over, and I have yet to see a single toothbrush. Does this make me a horrible person, breaking up over cannibal breath? Forgive me, but I learned long ago that I can’t change who I am.

Though the time has come for us to part ways, please know that you will always have a special place in my heart, and I wish you nothing but the best in life.

Goodbye forever,


PS – Maybe instead of eating people, you should give rabbits a whirl. Daryl’s pretty good with a crossbow, and probably wouldn’t mind teaching you a few things if you just apologized for trying to kill him and his friends. =)


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